


The future

by A_lilbit_of_everything



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Zayn leaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 05:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_lilbit_of_everything/pseuds/A_lilbit_of_everything
Summary: "He longs to go back, to turn around and go back to him. To his heart, his home. But going back would be forfeiting his future, would be forfeiting everything he's learned."





	The future

**Author's Note:**

> A story I wrote will listening to On the Borderline by Thomas Sanders.

He longs to go back, to turn around and go back to him. To his heart, his home. But going back would be forfeiting his future, would be forfeiting everything he's learned.

He's leaving tonight. He's told the boys, well, not really. He will later. Maybe.

He's supposed to be packing his bags. Instead he's sitting on the bed slowly going through a pack of cigarettes while staring out the window blankly. 

He's nervous about the future, of what might happen, but he has to let go of the wide-eyed boy who joined One Direction. He can't do it anymore. He can't keep holding onto something he's not.

He's nearing the train slowly. Every step he takes grows slower and slower. Each step he takes, he feels something tugging at his chest. Begging him to go back. Back to his heart. His home. To liam. 

Sweet Liam who he left sleeping soundly in bed with the idea that Zayn would still be there in the morning. Instead he's going to wake up to a letter on the bed and Zayn gone.

As Zayn gets closer to the train, tears start to slowly fall down his face. He's risking everything, leaving everything behind. Leaving his heart. To let go of who he was, to let go of someone he's not and to become the person he wants to be. He's being selfish and hoping the boys will understand; he has to do this even if they hate him. He has to say goodbye.

As he settles in his seat, he leans his head back and listens to the sounds around him. He tries to center himself, to stop the tears from falling. He's scared, his hands are shaking and his heart is aching.

He settles into his apartment. He doesn't turn on his phone for a while.

The thing about leaving his past and trying for his future, is that a lot of people hate him for it. They don't understand he has changed, that he isn't the same boy who joined One Direction. He's grown up and he needs to move on, for his own sake, for his sanity, for his own selfish reasons.

They don't understand how hard it was for him to leave, how hard it was to leave his boys. To leave his Liam. That all of their hurt put together doesn't make up half of what he feels. That he feels ten times worse. That everyday he wakes up and cries because, for him to move on, he has to leave the four people who matter most to him. That he had to leave his boys and he can't fix it. He can't go back. He can't walk back into the past now that he has started going toward the future.

He ignores social media and people. He writes instead. He writes songs. He writes thoughts. He writes out everything he feels so that he's not tempted to follow the tug in his chest to crawl back to his heart, to the one person he called home.

Liam called him and told him he needed time. He didn't need Zayn right now and he would call him when he could listen to his voice and not cry. When he needed him again. 

Instead of being upset, he's understanding. He’d just up and left him with only a letter to explain why. So he will hold out hope that Liam will need him again. Zayn will wait, it's the least he could do. He will be whoever Liam needs him to be.

After months of hiding from everyone and their hatred, he logs onto Twitter. He writes one thing and logs back off.

He's moved on he's becoming the person he wants to be and, maybe one day in the future, Liam will see that he didn't mean to hurt him, that he just needed to be able to grow. Maybe Liam will be able to forgive him and need him again.

But for now, he will show the world who he really is.

**@zaynmalik**  
_I'm the still me, I've just grown, I've became a person I'm proud to be._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you liked it!! Also a big thank you to josjournal, without your help this would still be a mess.


End file.
